The answer to Lisa Noland is a categorical yes – Changing Attitude advocates lifelong fidelity

In her article posted today on the Anglican Mainstream web site Lisa Nolland quotes my blog from 9th March – ‘Changing Attitude wants to develop a Christian marital ethic which responds to the needs of heterosexuals and LGBT people alike in the 21st century who seek lifelong fidelity in love’. She wonders how this might be fleshed out in the marriages of people reading the Anglican Mainstream site http://www.anglican-mainstream.net/?p=11733#more-11733.

Incautiously revealing her own fantasises, she suggests they begin by sexualizing their close friendships (with husband or wife following suit) in order that both could enjoy ‘the enriching potential of variety’, but with the caveat that there is no ‘serious physical hurt or harm’ which can result from certain kinds (sadomasochism/bondage and domination) of sexual activity’. She quotes from the Clergy Consultation Sexual Ethics booklet, not from Changing Attitude material.

Lisa has bisexuality in her sights. She is fascinated by it. Lisa asks again what Changing Attitude’s attitude is to bisexuality. You see, Lisa has read the ‘narratives of active bisexuals for whom the binary is obsolete’. She speculates about the type of bisexual who wants and needs a lover of both sexes at the same time. She reads Jenny Block, an American writer who advocates open marriage and polyamory. She wonders whether I have heard of Jenny Block. No Lisa, I hadn’t. Changing Attitude isn’t researching alternative secular sexual lifestyles.

Lisa is among Anglican Mainstream leaders who seem to be obsessed with what people do sexually in the secular world. They seem unable to recognise that in the secular realm, people exert adult freedoms untroubled by Mainstream’s Christian ethics. Nevertheless, such people often have an ethical framework of their own.

Anglican Mainstream also finds it difficult to understand that Christian organisations such as Changing Attitude which advocate the full inclusion of LGBT people also observe Christian patterns of life and moral and ethical codes.

Changing Attitude’s ethical framework is of love, fidelity and monogamy in relationships, lesbian, gay and bisexual. The bisexual people I meet are faithful to their partner (if they have one). There is no difference in the choices Christian heterosexuals, bisexuals and lesbian and gay people make. If you are tempted to be unfaithful to your partner, it makes no difference whether you are heterosexual and tempted by another man or woman, gay and tempted by another man, lesbian and tempted by another woman, or bisexual and tempted by another man or woman. Just as heterosexual, lesbian and gay people do not need a sexual relationship with both sexes at the same time, neither do bisexuals. They commit to one or the other.

The answer to Lisa is a categorical yes – Changing Attitude advocates fidelity to one person in marriage or Civil Partnership where this is legally possible and in a faithful, lifelong committed relationship when it is not possible to register a marriage or partnership.

Comments

  1. Erika Baker says

    She's not asking a serious question, she's merely parading her own abysmal ignorance.
    Again, in the wider world, she's one of the best ambassadors we have.

  2. Phelim says

    It does not look as if the blogger has read Lisa's article except for evidence to attack someone. They have not attempted to answer her points or admitted the fact that she quotes CA's own web site.

    They have also overlooked the fact that bi-sexuality and polyamorous relationships are two different things. It is worrying when advocates of a lifestyle are afraid to debate and are only willing to attack.

  3. Colin Coward says

    Phelim, again, thanks for your comment. I read Lisa's post very carefully indeed in the process of writing the blog. If you'd like to read both Lisa and my blogs carefully you will see that she quotes from a booklet produced by the Lesbian and Gay Clergy Consultation which Changing Attitude published, the text of which is available on our website.

    Could you explain how I have overlooked the fact that bi-sexuality and polyamorous relationships are different things, something I am quite well aware of. Changing Attitude is very willing to debate. I invited Canon Chris Sugden of Anglican Mainstream to join us in a public debate. He said it would be too dangerous. We are very willing to debate publicly. I hope I am also as gracious in my engagement with Lisa Nolland as she is with me.

  4. Jenny says

    Why are so-called conservative Christians so intensely interested in matters of other people's sex lives? Didn't Jesus tell us not to worry, that The Lord takes care of everything? (Matthew 6:25-27) Wouldn't this also mean judging the behaviour of others? Or are the teaching's of the Christ irrelevant nowadays?

    By dint of this then, surely they should just leave us all to God and get on with spreading the Gospel, the Good News, that God loves us all…

    It really is a "…a mixed up muddled up shook up world" 😉

  5. Sapphire says

    I was with my boyfriend for five years. Our relationship was as faithful as any marriage until he was killed in a road accident.
    Eventually grief faded and I found love again this time with my wife of almost thirty years.
    Yes I can love (in every sense) both men and women.
    That doesn't mean I have to be with both at the same time.
    I've read of Lisa Nolland's obsession with bisexuality before. She is merely being offensive for the sake of causing offence.

  6. SueM says

    "Afraid to debate and are only willing to attack."

    Couldn't the above be very aptly applied to the whole approach of Anglican Mainstream?

  7. Phelim says

    Colin – as someone who is EXGAY and willing to appear on the tv (as I did on the BBC Big Question) to tell the truth about homosexuality my experience of groups like Changing Attitude is that debate is not on their agenda – hence their disgust when free speach is protected through parliament

    If you think groups like Anglican Mainstream are obsessed with people's sexual activity they are only reflecting back to groups like CA the attiudes they promote and are promoted by the media. They are bringing a Biblical commentary into these areas and challenging the unthinking pro-gay bias of the world. Of course the pro-gay movement doesn't want this – if the truth about homosexuality and its lack of scientific, moral and Scriptural basis is exposed then the fight will be lost.

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